Spotted! Weiner's Weiner*

Forgive me for neglecting you, but it's been a busy three days. I won't bore you with the minutia, I'll just jump right in.

Let's talk about Weinergate, shall we?

Representative Anthony Weiner (D-NY) retracted his initial claim that his Twitter account had been hacked and admitted this afternoon that he sent a lewd picture to a young woman as claimed. Interestingly, I'm not surprised. Additionally, he admitted that this was not the first time (and sadly, probably not the last) that he has done so, AND he admitted to explicit conversations with six women over the past three years (overshare?). "A" for sticktuitiveness, though...amidst all of the name-calling and overall general disdain, Weiner says he is embarrassed, but does not plan to retire. Read the article in its entirety here (because Fox News is so reliable, but whatever).

I guess Weiner just couldn't keep his weiner to himself. My favorite part of this article is where [BigGovernment.com publisher] Andrew Breitbart confirmed that the photos appeared to be Weiner, stating, "He's in very good shape." PAUSE. Was that envy I detected, or does somebody want himself some Weiner?? Things that make you go "hmmm..."

I hate to laugh at someone else's misfortune (who am I kidding?), but this is hilarious. I guess his advisors told him to take the "all or nothing" approach, eh? Next he'll be confessing to a college "phase" he went through where he dabbled in erotic asphyxiation and beastiality. Sheesh. What is going on with the politicians in New York?! First the Spitzer prostitution ring scandal, and now this? Those guys are obviously thinkin' with the wrong heads in the Big Apple. Additionally, am I the only person that finds irony in both of these offenders' names? Weiner? Spitzer? ...and why does it always have to be the young girls? Do you think that people would be more willing to overlook and forgive indiscretions if perhaps the women involved were of drinking age (okay, slight overexaggeration)? I think it would help a little bit...but just a little. The icing on the cake for me was during the press conference, with one reporter shouting repeatedly, "She was young enough to be your daughter!!" Hahaha consider yourself judged, ya weiner.

I think it's safe to say that Weiner is now wishing he'd kept his weiner to himself. Luckily for him, his wife of one year (sad, but true), is an aide in Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's office. Maybe Weiner will get lucky and she'll seek relationship advice from Hillary. We all know where she tends to stand on matters of adultery, right?

I'll leave you with a Weiner quote I found on Wikipedia. You know how people play that game where you read your fortune aloud and add "in bed" after it? Let's play that game with this quote, and swap out all of the "it"s with the phrase "my weiner"...

 "I push people pretty hard [with my weiner]... I have nothing but love for people who endured it my weiner, even if they endured it my weiner for a short period of time."

Enough said.


*Let me apologize [in advance] for my excessive use of weiners the word weiner. It just couldn't be helped.