1, 2, 3, 4, I Declare a Debt Ceiling War!

Why is there so much juicy news to discuss when I'm supposed to be on vacation?? The hubs and I happened to be touring CNN today, when news of the latest developments in the ongoing debt-limit discussion came across the ticker. I just couldn't let this topic go.*

“He shoved back and said ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’ and walked out,” House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) told reporters in the Capitol after the meeting . . . Democratic sources dispute Cantor’s version of Obama’s walk out, but all sides agree that the two had a blow up. The sources described Obama as “impassioned” but said he didn’t exactly storm out of the room . . . On exiting the room, Obama said that “this confirms the totality of what the American people already believe” about Washington, according to a Democratic official familiar with the negotiations, and that officials are “too focused on positioning and political posturing” to make difficult choices.**

Freaking. Brilliant. Isn't that what I've been saying since the overly dramatic budget discussions, earlier this year? I'm so glad that POTUS agrees with me. Congress needs to GET. IT. TOGETHER. Last I checked, they are elected officials, and should be doing everything in their power to represent the best interests of the American people. Listen, I'm confident that nobody wants our national debt to just keep increasing with no end in sight . . . but what makes this time different than the FIVE times the debt ceiling was raised during the most recent Bush Administration (to the tune of almost a whopping $4 trillion)?? I'm just curious, because the four Republicans currently holding Congressional leadership positions, Speaker John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, and Senate Minority Whip Jon Kyl, each voted "yea" at least 4 times each, to approve Bush's requests (only Kyl voted "nay" on the first request; the others voted "yea" all five times).*** Did I mention that those votes of approval did NOT accompany any demands for drastic spending cuts? Hmmm . . . one of these things is not like the other.

So again, what is different now? Could it be . . . that Obama is President (the horror!), and the GOP would rather see America fall into perpetual recession-laden pieces before voting to support anything he proposes? Does it have anything to do with ridiculous political agendas and feuds that are huge roadblocks to any sort of progress, whatsoever? I call bullshit. During the Bush Administration, the GOP seemed to clearly understand that sometimes you have to spend money to make money; they acknowledged that the debt ceiling had to be raised in order for the American economy to stay on track. Unfortunately, something seems to have happened to their good sense since then, because now all they seem to be doing is dicking around and playing political games (i.e., pissing contests). Hey, no big deal, right? So what if a few people don't get their social security checks? As long as the GOP can prove their point, screw America!**** (Wait, what is their point, again?)

It seems to me like everybody on Capitol Hill has lost their damn minds with the 2012 election looming. We (the common folks that nobody seems to give a shit about anymore) all know that nothing productive gets done around election time, because everyone is too busy climbing up on their soapboxes, and mudslinging/name-calling/personally trashing their political opponents foes, but this is just ridiculous. Debt ceiling, shmet shmeiling. Just vote to raise it, already. Real talk -- it's not like we're going to pay it back anytime soon, right? So who gives a crap? Good ol' W promised to pay off the debt in ten years (Did he miss the memo that presidential terms are only 4 years, and presidents can only serve two terms? Last time I checked, 4 x 2 = 8 . . . oh, wait. Multiplication is kind of difficult. Nevermind.), but everybody knew he was full of it. Cantor needs to just suck it up, quit cock blocking, and get on board. Because this shit is ridiculous. You hear me? Ri-dickaluss.

My feelings can best be summed up by the following quote from a democratic aide, "This is just more juvenile behavior from [Cantor] and Boehner needs to rein him in, and let the grown-ups get to work."

Get over yourselves and get 'er done, folks. The American people (remember us?) are counting on you (because we have no choice). DO THE RIGHT THING.
Thanks,
-Management


*Don't you worry your pretty little heads; I haven't forgotten about the Bachmann shrew. Her day is coming soon. I can't let that topic go, either. Because she's a racist . . . and a homophobe . . . and we don't tolerate her kind 'round here.
**Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/58937.html#ixzz1S8h5Qu4U
***I'm really not making this up, I promise. Get the deets here. The facts have to be true if they came from a .org website, right?
****I feel like that's going to be the GOP platform in 2012: SCREW AMERICA! They sure are doing a thorough job of that right now. Right-wing, my ass. They sure seem like Wrong-wing, to me.

Michelle Bachmann Wants to Teabag America

Ok, so I'm in Hotlanta this week preparing for the move, and next week is crazy hectic with last minute school details and the actual move itself. But you'd better believe that as soon as I have a moment to breathe, there is going to be a lengthy post on Michelle Bachmann and all of her ridiculously appalling, bigoted, teabag bullshit. Bachmann really just makes me want to punch her in her self-righteous, judgmental, racist, homophobic face. Methinks she needs to lay off the hooch at those exclusive, ultra-conservative tea parties, because lately all that's been coming out of her mouth is loathsome. I've got your number, Bachmann. You're next. Not the next president, but the next to get picked apart by little old me. I'll leave you with an excerpt from the Marriage Vow that she just couldn't wait to sign last week, and we can catch up on the Bachmann bashing when I'm not typing furiously on my Blackberry in the dark. Deal? Deal. See below:

"Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA's first African-American President."

*blinkblinkblink* WTF?! More to come.

Caylee's Law

Okay, so I promised not to get all wrapped up in politics, or cram my political agenda/views down your throat . . . but this is something I feel really strongly about, and what better means with which to share it but my own humble little blog?

Guilty of murder or not, Casey Anthony waited THIRTY-ONE DAYS before reporting her 2 year-old daughter Caylee missing. I would imagine that any logical adult would agree with me that this offense alone should be considered a crime. The verdict is in, and it is not my place to continue to harp on whether or not I think Casey is guilty of murder; what's done is done. That said, I think that Caylee's Law is the real way to ensure that poor little Caylee Anthony will have some justice.

It's terrible, but things like this happen too often in our country. Children fall victim to people who, as adults, should be protecting their best interests. Because of the media frenzy that has surrounded the Casey Anthony trial, Caylee Anthony has become the posterchild for missing children everywhere. Caylee's Law would make it a felony for for parents not to report missing children. I think this law should be a no-brainer. Why would any parent not want to report a missing child? If a child is missing, a parent should report that fact as soon as possible to the authorities, so action can be taken as soon as possible. The sooner a child is reported missing, the greater their chances are for survival.

I could go on and on for days about how strongly I feel about this law, but at the end of day, the point is . . . sign it. As adults, we are responsible for the younger generations. We need to step up and accept this responsibility, and do everything within our power to make sure that our nation's youth survives and fluorishes. They are our future, we need to look out for them. Period.

So please, I beg of you. Take a minute out of your day to sign the Caylee's Law petition. Do your part. I've done mine, and I already feel like I'm helping to make a difference. I've already received emails from my State Representatives, and have had the chance to express my personal feelings on the issue. Caylee may not have gotten justice for her death, but she's getting justice for children everywhere. I'm helping. You should help, too -- it's a good feeling.

Good Luck and Godspeed

AP Photo/Terry Rinna

The space shuttle Atlantis took off today, marking the final launch for the NASA space shuttle program. Seeing this picture made me super nostalgic and homesick today. Central Florida was really a great place to grow up. I mean, what child doesn't want to live an hour away from Mickey Mouse? But one of the coolest novelties of where I grew up was being able to step outside and watch the shuttles launch. You could literally feel the boom right after the take off. It was awesome. I saw Discovery launch a few times; I clearly remember the fatal launch of the Challenger. We even took field trips to NASA when I was in elementary school. The shuttle program really gave me some great memories to look back on, and I'm a little bummed that my children won't get to see a shuttle take off. But, such is life. So, as a fond farewell, I say to the crew of the Atlantis, "Good luck and Godspeed."

Pillow Talk With Holly and Harry Hangover

This morning was pure comedy in my household. Last night was bowling night with the girls from work, which almost always results in a hungover Friday. Today was no different. To make matters worse, the hubs had man night last night (which also almost always results in a hangover), so I couldn't even whine until he rubbed my back. He was too busy whining, too. To say we were a sad pair this morning is the understatement of the year. Luckily, we both might have still been drunk, so there were a lot of silly shenanigans going on (nothing sexual or anything . . . I'm pretty sure sexy time would have made me barf*) to make up for the horrific headache and the spinning room. I thought I'd share some of our craziness with you, just for shiggles. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Holly: Ufffffffffff.
Harry: I am hungover like a whoooooooooore!
Holly: Uffffff. <pregnant** dramatic pause> Yeah. A whore that went to a really great party last night with a whole lotta free booze. Whores love free booze.
Harry: Everybody loves free booze.
Holly: Yeah, but if my headache is any indication, it must have been a whores' party with buckets and buckets of champagne. Because champagne makes your head hurt. And whores love it.

Then, somehow we got on the topic of tampons. Don't ask.

Harry: We should invent a new line of tampons and call them Corks. With an "x." C-O-R-X. That would be awesome.
Holly: Bahaha! Why the "x"? Because of the X chromosomes? That's clever.
Harry: Uh, yeah. That, too. But mostly because of the amazing marketing you could do. "Corx! They're extraordinary!" Can't you just see the commercial now?
Holly: Yeah, and we could have chicks chugging big ol' bottles of wine, and then corking them. You know, just to illustrate the point.
Harry: Yes! It should be red wine. And there should be a demonstration where they pour red wine into the Corx to prove how effective they are.
Holly: Xtra strength Corx! For those extra heavy days.
Harry: The stronger the Corx, the more "x"s on the packaging.
Holly: Put a Corx in her, she's done.

. . . and then he played the saxophone for me. Careless Whisper, to be exact. And I sang along ('cause it's kinda what I do). It was magical.


*Do people still say "barf"? If not, I'm totally bringing it back. I think it does a good job of illustrating just how gross the act of vomiting is. Barf. 
**It couldn't be a pregnant pause because I was drunk. Only assholes drink when they're pregnant.

If You Don't Know Me By Now . . .

I came across this note I did on Facebook a few years ago - you know, one of the ones where you have to give 25 random facts about yourself and then tag people for shiggles? I'm confident those little chain "notes" are only useful on Facebook because so many people have friends who they couldn't pick out of a lineup because they don't know them. At all. Not even a little bit. The thing is, I'm SO not one of those people. It totally skeeves me out to think about all these randoms flipping through my personal photos and possibly rubbing one out to a perfectly innocent scene of me and ten of my prettiest girlfriends in skimpy bikinis in the Bahamas. Okay, so that was a really detailed (and slightly conceited . . . and more than slightly dramatic) figment of my imagination, but it could definitely happen. Remember that gross gay I told you about, creepin' on adolescent boys' Facebook pages? You remember, right? With the murse? Well, if HE exists, I'm POSITIVE that there is an equally gross heterosexual who lurks on random women's Facebook pages, dreaming of the day he can fulfill his sexual predator fantasies in some deserted, dark, alley somewhere. No thank you, stranger danger. I would like to very politely "Ignore" your Facebook friend request and continue on with my life in which I have no knowledge of your existence. Thanks.

Wait. Where was I going with that? Oh yeah, the 25 random things. So, I came across this note I did a couple of years ago (even though I know all of my FB friends and they know me), and I thought I would share it with you, my readers. Add this to the short list of "getting to know me" posts I've done. I tried to shorten it to 20 random things, to exclude facts that I have shared with you previously; sorry for any redundancy. I'll post the original list and show any additional comments in white. Enjoy!

20 Random Things About Becks

1. I have this weird obsession with vampires. I love them. I wouldn't mind being one. Not so much the drinking blood part, but the being super sexy and living forever part is pretty cool. Not sure if I would make a good one, though (see #2). I blame Ann Rice and whoever cast Interview With The Vampire. I mean, come on. I also blame L.J. Smith for writing The Vampire Diaries, and making me fall in love with Stefan and Damon when I was 8. No, really. 

2. I'm scared of the dark. Okay, okay. I know this makes me sound like a 5 year old child, but I really am. Not like sleep with a light on scared, like I was until college (you can stop laughing now)...but more like go to sleep with the TV on "sleep" scared. I just feel as though if someone was going to get me, they'd have the best opportunity in the dark. Chalk that up to my overactive imagination. I also had this weird confidence that if I had covers over me, then none of the monsters (or whatever I was scared of - it was actually more likely something realistic like the above-mentioned sexual predator, thank you very much) would be able to get me. Seriously. Stop laughing.

3. I love food. Seriously, I love it. All different kinds of food. I have this weird good food dance that I do when I'm eating something really good. I can't help it. When I'm eating, I think about what I'm going to eat next.

4. I know the words to pretty much every song...in life. Okay, maybe that's a slight over-exaggeration, but I usually at least know the chorus or can hum the melody. I'm probably not the best person to road trip with, unless you don't mind someone singing along (out loud) with every single song on the radio. Think Heartbreak Kid. It's so bad that on one of our extended road trips, the hubs definitely tried to switch to a jazz station, or something of the sort. Luckily for me, they played jazz AND easy listening music . . . with words. Little did he know that the instrumental versions wouldn't have stopped me; I don't actually need the artist's vocals messing up the clarity of my tone. This girl doesn't need back up singers. Nobody puts Becki in a corner! 

5. I sniffle when I'm right, or even when I think I'm right, which is pretty much all the time (sorry, babe). I never noticed this obnoxious habit until a certain special someone pointed it out, and now it drives me to distraction! (Because I'm always right, remember?) I've tried to stop doing it, but it's impossible. Oh well, to know me is to love me. At least I have a wealth of knowledge to bring to the table. No?

6. I LOVE high heels. El-oh-vee-ee. The higher, the better. What's not to love? They make every woman's legs look s-e-x-y. Every woman should own a pair of really nice heels. I wear heels everywhere, to the point where if I walk around in flats too long, my back hurts. Weird, I know. I obviously wrote this before I got old. While I do still love high heels, I now also carry a pair of more sensible, flat shoes for long treks anywhere. Except for when we went to NOLA for my birthday, and my idea of sensible shoes was a pair of gladiator sandals with no arch support. Right.

7. I like to watch movies with the captions on. I've come a long way. I used to watch all television with the captions on, too. I attribute this habit to one of my best friends from college, who watched everything with the captions. It used to annoy me to no end . . . then I got used to it. It was especially helpful back when they still played music on all of the music television networks, and I wanted to keep up with the latest hot songs so I could sing along in the clubs while shaking my tailfeather. I like not missing any dialog. It annoys a lot of people, but I've decided that's because they don't read fast enough to keep up.  

8. My name is Rebecca, and I am a shopoholic. Not a shopoholic like put myself into irreversible debt, shopoholic...but I probably could if I wasn't so practical about money. I love to shop; it doesn't even necessarily matter what for. It's my retail therapy. Shopping is usually the only thing that makes me feel better when I'm down. There's just something about buying something new that lifts my spirits.

9. I partied with Snoop Dogg once in Gainesville. And by partied, I mean that we ______ a lot of ______. Or something to that effect. You fill in the blanks; I can't really remember the details. Shout out to Sigma Epsilon Chi, Spring 2000!! Good times. Don't go looking for our sorority charter or anything - we're a secret organization. Like the Skulls. Membership is very exclusive. All apologies.

10. Since I moved out of my parents' house, I have had a total of 17 roommates. Seriously. I can't even remember all of their names. That has been really over a period of 5 years, because I have lived by myself since 2004. Some of them were godawful. I had this roommate once who used to get in the kitchen and make the stink nastiest creations for her to eat. Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. Another one used to borrow my clothes all the time without asking, and then put them back into my closet without cleaning them. Ugh. She was a major dirty. I have definitely had more roommates since I posted this original note. Well, if you count the hubs as a roommate. I don't, because I wouldn't wash a roommate's dirty underwear. But, whatever.

11. I am obsessed with the Food Network. It's usually the first thing I turn on in the morning. There's just something satisfying about watching it. They always make cool stuff. I heart Paula Deen and Giada deLaurentis. Although I am still obsessed with FN, I told you, I have moved on a bit to Animal Planet. They have some of the coolest programming! I watched some show where this guy lived in the pjs (the projects, for those of you that aren't caught up on your slang) in Harlem, and he had an adult male tiger living with him as a pet. A TIGER. In the projects of Harlem. SWAT had to propel from the roof and shoot tranquilizer darts through the window in order to capture the tiger. I'm not making this stuff up, folks.

12. I can be a pretty obnoxious drunk. I like to talk, but I love to talk when I'm drunk. I try not to let drunk Becca out of her cage, because I usually wake up in the morning with a wicked headache and some sort of embarrassing story. When I'm drunk, I also repeat myself a lot. Whether it's "I have to pee" or "I wanna go home" over and over at the end of the night, it's pretty much going to be repeated about 100 times...incessantly. Can't help it, don't even know I'm doing it.

13. I L-O-V-E the Gators. Gator football is the only sport I truly enjoy watching. I think Tim Tebow is the best. Doesn't everyone? Please don't answer that, husband of mine. I obviously wrote this back when Tim Tebow was walking on water for the Gators. He's gone now. We've got the stats to prove it. But I still love my Gators! This Florida girl bleeds orange and blue.

14. I hate being cold. I've even considered buying myself one of those Snuggies that they're advertising on TV now. Ironically enough, I also hate being hot. Sweating is so not cute. Uh . . . yeah. I definitely now have a Snuggie. To be fair, I didn't buy it for myself; I got it for Christmas from my mom. She also paid a few extra bucks and got me some luxurious micro-fiber version that I actually just use as a blanket. So for all that, I probably could have just purchased another throw. Again, what-ever.

15. I love words. Big ones, weird ones, ones that are fun to say. I have a big vocabulary, and I'm not afraid to use it!

16. I just saw snow fall for the first time last month in Houston (2008). It was awesome. I acted like a little kid, and the hubs got it all on video. Big surprise, lol.

17. I love purple eyeshadow. I read somewhere that purple is the only color in the rainbow that complements every complexion.

18. I don't drink coffee. At all. Hate it, in fact. I've tried it twice in life, once when I was little, and the second time not so long ago. Still hated it. I don't like the smell of it, and it amazes me that people can actually drink it every day. Bleh. I much prefer chai tea or a green tea latte.

19. I can be such a dork. The littlest things amuse me, and I chuckle to myself constantly every day. I also have this habit of talking to myself. I think it has something to do with not having any siblings in the house when I was growing up.

20. I have this aversion to large crowds. I don't like people I don't know touching me, and I have this irrational fear that something bad will happen just as I am in the middle of a large crowd and have no clear escape route. I'm not socially inept. I can be in a large crowd, I just don't necessarily enjoy it.

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater!

This is just so sad. You know, parents send their children off to school in good faith - good faith that the teachers and administrators are qualified to do their jobs, that they will have the children's best interests at heart, and that they will be good role models for the children when their parents can't be there. School is an important part of the socialization process for children, where they meet their peers and learn both educational and life lessons. Teachers are supposed to be like second parents, to identify children's talents and strength and then nurture and foster them. But this? I really have no words. These so-called "educators" really should face the full consequences of their actions, because not only did they forsake the children's best interests to protect their own, but by cheating and falsifying test results, they denied those children the right to a proper education. They didn't just cheat the system; they cheated those kids out of the opportunity to gain the most knowledge as possible, and address areas in which they might possibly need a bit more help. And for what? All for the sake of a merit raise. It's disgusting. Good thing I don't have any kids yet . . . I'd better start saving my Benjamins, because with this impending move to Atlanta, private school is sounding more and more attractive.

"Face It, Not Guilty - That's How I Stay Filthy"

For those of you who have been living in a hole for the past few months, I'm talking about Casey Anthony. You remember her, right? The mother who killed her adorable three year old daughter? Yeah, her. Well, as you know, the jury came back yesterday, after deliberating for less than 24 hours . . . and gave her a not guilty verdict. No, really. I know, I know. I'm rolling my eyes, too. "Bella Vida," is right. Would it have been too much for the judge to ask them [very politely] to please turn their asses right back around and take a little bit longer to think it over? I mean, this was a freaking murder trial, not a 5K race. You don't have to be the first to the finish line; you just have to make a rational decision. For shiggles, let's have a look at the charges Mommy Dearest was up against and the jury found:

1. Murder in the first degree - Not guilty
2. Aggravated manslaughter of a child - Not guilty
3. Aggravated child abuse - Not guilty
4. Providing false information to law enforcement - Guilty
5. Providing false information to law enforcement - Guilty
6. Providing false information to law enforcement - Guilty
7. Providing false information to law enforcement - Guilty

*blinkblinkblink*

This case/trial/verdict is Exhibit A as to why the death penalty does not work. Juries feel so overburdened with the fact that someone's life is in their hands, and they get gun-shy. I have to say - I am not really surprised that they did not find her guilty of murder. Again, I think when the death penalty is on the table, all jurors need is just the tiniest sliver of reasonable doubt. And to be fair, Jose Baez did a Charlie Sheenesque rock-star job of providing reasonable doubt. (Read: the defense's shit show confused the jurors enough to distract them from the fact that Casey's story just didn't make any sense.) Additionally, I can't honestly say that I think the prosecution met their burden of proof. They probably should have avoided that murder one charge and shot for the other six lesser charges. I think the circumstantiality of their evidence might have been a bit easier to swallow if the jury didn't have to consider that ol' Casey might have her last dance with Ol' Sparky.*

Yesterday's acquittal was definitely the verdict heard 'round the world, but in my opinion, it raises the question of the effectiveness of our judicial system. This is purely subjective, but should this verdict restore your faith in our justice system, or further demonize a dated system that never seems to work in these crazy, media-frenzy-type trials? If you ask me, it's kind of a double-edged sword. One one hand, I think we should be glad that she was acquitted of murder. Don't get me wrong, I think the chick is guilty as sin . . . but the fact remains that there was, in fact, reasonable doubt. Playing devil's advocate, perhaps we should celebrate that the jury did recognize that fact, because we are talking about murder, after all . . . and she could have been put to death if found guilty. I know that if I was on trial for murder (which I obviously would never commit because I'm a lady with class and broughtupsy - I don't even fight), I would want the prosecution to be held to their burden of proof. It's probably better to let one, relatively harmless (because hey, we're not her kid, nor are we stopping her from prancing off from bar to bar, entering hot body contests and shaking her money maker), batshit crazy, pathological liar back out on the streets than to convict (and possibly kill) an innocent person of a crime they didn't commit. I mean, look at how many tax dollars are being wasted on the West Memphis Three (sorry for the shameless plug, but I couldn't even help myself).

Now that the devil's out of the way - on the other hand, I made the comparison yesterday that this trial and verdict were eerily reminiscent of the OJ Simpson trial in 1995. You remember that one, right? Of course you do. You also remember the anger and betrayal you felt when he was acquitted, right? (Especially when he went all crazy town and wrote that book.) It's that feeling that makes people think the "justice" system in America doesn't work. That feeling you get when someone has already been tried by the general public, and there's the expectation that everybody knows the person is guilty. Or when people like LaLa Lohan spend little to no jail time, and face no repercussions for violating probation.**Yup. That's what's wrong. The burden of proof exists, but only conveniently, when people's pesky consciences get in the way. Hmph. Chalk that up to another great, but also annoying and stupid thing about America. Right there with electoral colleges and the BCS system.***


*I know that Florida retired Ol' Sparky years ago; I'm from Florida, remember? It just sounds a lot more interesting than the lethal injection cocktail they're doling out these days.
**I think I overlooked the LiLo verdict in the whole Casey Anthony melee. The broad avoided jail time [again] AND she's allowed to drink now. Fasten those seatbelts, Los Angelenos - Linds is on the loose!
***Come. On. You KNOW those things are stupid. Yeah, it's great that we have a democracy in America. Or it would be, if the popular vote actually counted for something. I think the 2000 presidential election was excellent evidence supporting the fact that the electoral college system is dated and ridiculous. No? And don't even get me started on the BCS system. Obviously, there should be playoffs. There are playoffs in every other sport. Why not college football? Now, I'm no sports guru, and I typically would be against anything extending a sports season by any means . . . but I love Gator football. (Goooooo Gators!) Oh yeah, and I'm not a moron. Any moron can see the system doesn't make sense. I'm just saying.

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.*

It seems that there is finally a declared victor in the age old battle of the sexes. Time Magazine posted an article a couple of days ago, entitled simply, "Why Women Are Better at Everything." Uh, hello! Finally! I'm pretty sure I've been trying to convince my husband of this cold, hard, fact for the entire six years I've known him (much to his chagrin).

"What's the problem with men? 'There's been a lot of academic research suggesting that men think they know what they're doing, even when they really don't know what they're doing,' John Ameriks, the author of the Vanguard study, told the New York Times."

*blink blink blink* No comment. 

Interestingly enough, scientists believe that this advantage that women have over men is due in part to biology. Apparently, men's testosterone levels surge, affecting their willingness for risk-taking and also gives them "an attitude of infallibility." Lucky for us [superior] women, we only have 10% of that testosterone, i.e., we don't have those same primal, barbaric urges that drive us to do dumb stuff. We're just sweet, nice to look at, smell pretty, and gently guide the men in our lives in the right direction when they mess up.** Because hey, that's what we're here for. Sure, Eve allegedly ate the apple from the forbidden tree. But probably only because poor Adam was hungry and couldn't fend for himself. Somebody had to do it. I mean, just look at lion prides.*** The lionesses do all the hunting and the real work . . . and the lions (king of the jungle, my ass) just lay around and sleep all day. So today, ladies, we celebrate ourselves, each other, and just overall girl power! Because anyway you look at it, girls rock. And like it or not, we're always #WINNING.

*Okay, guys. Be warned this is a very girl power oriented post. Read at your own risk of feeling slightly inferior. Please don't take offense! The content was written very tongue-in-cheek and meant simply to elicit laughter. I'm not male bashing. Too much testosterone or not, we still love you. Somebody's got to. ;)

**Oh yeah, and we don't do things like burp or go #2. Because that's not very ladylike, and we're the image of perfection.

***I have a small confession. I have this new found obsession with Animal Planet, so don't be surprised if a lot of random animal references pop up from here on out. I'm kind of an expert. Thanks.