Message in a Bottle

Have you ever been so pissed off by some random person's thoughtless and inconsiderate actions that you wanted to write a nasty note? Sure you have. For instance, there is one particular inconsiderate jerk off that parks in the garage at work in such a way that his extra-special Rav4 or whatever shit he drives is taking up TWO primo pieces of parking garage real estate. Really?! I mean, the obnoxious sense of entitlement there is just astounding. No joke, when I pull up the ramp in the garage in the morning and I see his hunk of junk taking up an ENTIRE CORNER of the parking garage, my blood boils. Nobody likes seeing the inevitable dings in their door when they walk up to their car. Trust me; I know. I sometimes think that the people parked next to me must have tried to hit my door. I mean, how else do you really ding a car door to the point that the paint is gone all the way down to the primer? Ugh. But even still, I refrain from such blatantly obnoxious action as parallel parking my car across three spots to avoid the dings. One morning, the sight of his ridiculous SUV set me off so badly that I was rummaging madly through my suitcase of a purse, trying to find some scrap of paper to really tell him about himself. But alas, no paper. Just my luck. Well, I had a receipt, but it was a credit card receipt. I'm not against leaving a note, but to sign it with my full government name so the Rav4 owner can hunt me down and terrorize me? Yeah, not happening.

Anyway, my co-worker was called on an unexpected business trip the other day and had to rush to the airport. Apparently all of the spots in the garage were full and she saw everyone around her creating makeshift parking spots, so she decided to do the same. It was only a day trip, after all; she would only be gone for a few hours. So she parked her car as best she could, in her opinion leaving ample room for the surrounding cars to still navigate their way out if need be. Well, upon her return, imagine her surprise when she found this little love note waiting for her on her windshield:



Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! This note seriously made my day. I told her that I needed to make a copy and keep it in my purse so I could place it lovingly on the windshield of my garage nemesis' car the next time he pulled his douchebag move. I'm pretty sure this is the best nastygram ever. At least that I've seen thus far. I feel as though the author did a very good job of expressing their frustration and anger. Note the usage of the capital "F" and "A" for emphasis. Genius. To the author of this delightful little morsel of hilarity, I say this:

Dear Parking-Garage-Love-Note-Writer,

I salute you. Sure, my co-worker did nothing but laugh at the content of your note(and bring it into the office for show and tell)...buuuuuuuut I bet it made YOU feel better, now didn't it? And really, isn't that all that matters? Here's to standing up for yourself (albeit anonymously) and for inspiring me to put a pack of Post-It® Notes in my purse so I too, can help to rid the world of inconsiderate pricks, one hateful nastygram at a time. Thanks, guy.

Becks