Hasta La Vista, Baby.

Uh oh, kids. It looks like we're going to have another Tiger Woods on our hands.

Hey, hey - easy! No need to throw your clubs, T! You'll always be near and dear to our hearts as the lovable philanderer whose adorable little blonde, Swedish wife beat him into such a panic, he crashed his car...in his own front yard. (Remember that? That was awesome.) However...I've gotta say, I think The Governator might be trying to steal a little bit of your shine. 

Unless you live under a rock, I'm sure you've heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have [finally] decided to call it quits. I can't exactly say I'm surprised. Actually, I was probably more surprised when they announced that they were going to get married. Right?! It's no secret; the man married up. She's a Kennedy, for Pete's Sake (There goes that damn Pete, again)! But have you heard the latest and greatest??  Apparently, the housekeeper wasn't enough to satisfy this Austrian adulterer. Yup, you heard right. Another woman came forward this afternoon with guns (i.e. Gloria Allred) blazin'!

 At least this chick didn't live in the house with the family...she's just a washed up actress (read: star effer) who allegedly did the grownup with Arnold for the first time in 1975 when she was a young and impressionable SIXTEEN YEAR OLD (not so grownup, after all). Then, there was apparently some sort of loooooong hiatus (called the eighties - they were probably both extra busy doing hookers and blow or whatever people did for fun in the 80's), after which, they picked up where they left off...just three years after he wed Shriver.

I'm a little concerned that this really is going to end up like the whole Tiger debacle, where one unattractive woman after another comes forward with stories of debauchery and deviance (with a side of douchebaggery). Although, Arnold did trump Tiger with the love child. Love child? Have you seen this chick? Um...yikes. Definitely not the type of woman to conceive a love child with. See below...

Yeah...probably not Arnold's shining moment. What is it with these celebrities and their attraction to back-door broads? You know, the kind you have to push out the back door in the morning? Oh, wait. Did I say morning? Let me amend that - back-door chicks are really the ones that guys refuse to stay the night with and sneak out the back door right after relations. Because let's face it, if she looks like THAT with her makeup on, what must she look like in the mornings?? Would you want to wake up to her? Right. I didn't think so. I happen to think she bears a striking resemblance to Elsa Patton, the infamous creepy-looking mother from The Real Housewives of Miami.

No??? Come on! You can't tell me there is no resemblance there. Ugh. I just don't understand what the trend is with all of these celebrity couples recently where the not-as-good-looking husband cheats on the beatiful wife with a much less attractive homewrecker. Look at Sandra Bullock and Jesse James! What better example?? WTF? I must have missed something here. I just don't see it. All I know is, Arnold really messed up on this one. His career is obviously going to be over and now he's old (and still not very good looking). The chances of him reliving his Terminator days are slim to none. Now he's just going to have to retreat with his tail between his legs, without even so much as an "I'll be back," because sadly (actually, not so sadly), he probably won't.

Hasta la vista, baby.

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Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all! Image found here
Mistress #2 glamour shot discovered here
Baby Mama Drama featured here
Creepy Elsa Patton voici