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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

blasianbitchwithablog

Hold on to your hats, folks! I have arrived. Hide your kids, hide your wives…and hide your husbands, too. After much trepidation and deliberation, I have [finally] decided to start my very own blog. I’m not sure what gives me the false hope that anyone thinks I’m clever and witty enough to actually read my blog…but let’s face it, I don’t really care. This is all about ME: my random thoughts, my snarky, under-my-breath mutterings, my complaints, my joys, my trials, my tribulations…ME.

If you don’t like it, hit the bricks.
Nobody is making you read this.
I abscond myself of any liability for your reading pleasure.

Let me go ahead and apologize in advance for anything I may write that offends your delicate sensibilities…but…this thing is called blasianbitchwithablog…what did you expect? I mean, really. It’s pretty transparent. I’m blasian. I can be quite the bitch. I have a blog.
The end.
Again, if you are not a fan – beat. It. Nobody likes a party pooper.

So, now that my little disclaimer is out of the way, let’s get to the nitty gritty. How about an introduction? I am the blasianbitchwithablog. I would say the one and only, but it appears as though racial ambiguity is becoming more and more popular. I’m no longer the only mixed kid on the block! What a relief. I have a lot to say – and it’s not always nice (but it’s usually pretty funny). I live a pretty average life…okay, maybe slightly over average…but I won’t rub your nose in it. Lord knows, braggarts never prosper. I live in Houston, TX with my hubs of two years. No kids, no pets. Yet, anyway. I’m fairly certain that if I would allow it, my husband would impregnate me at his first opportunity. I’d love to make it to my 30th birthday before I have to sign my life away to a needy newborn. Call it selfish; call it what you want, but…it’s my uterus. So, back off.

Hmmm, what else should be included in a proper introduction? Likes and dislikes? I have a lot. Let me see if I can summarize in a list format:

Likes: people who mind their manners, a good belly laugh, brunch with friends (who doesn’t like brunch?!), big words, hijinks and shenanigans, good spelling and grammar, fashion, people watching, being lazy, the ellipsis (in case you hadn’t noticed my blatant overuse just yet), daydreaming, houndstooth print, remembering my dreams long enough to recant them, good music, asking questions, riding with the top down/roof open, good storytellers and stuff. Yes, I said it. Stuff. I mean, what girl doesn’t like stuff?

Oh man, where do I begin on the bad things? I’ll try to keep it short, since I would imagine that the majority of my dislikes will eventually end up on my blog as they randomly occur to me.

Dislikes:  RUDE PEOPLE, traffic, rude people IN traffic, stupid people, people who loudly proclaim their beliefs and try to shove their morals down my throat, smelly people, douchey people, obnoxious people…wait. This list could go on and on forever…it looks like all of my dislikes revolve around people…so do I just dislike people? Wow. That felt like a cathartic revelation. Did you feel it, too?

Ok. That’s enough about me. I’m sure you’ll learn all you care to know if, after reading this, you decide to tune in to more of my ramblings. This was fun. We should do it more often. For now though, I’m out.


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