Reflection Internal

I can’t believe it’s already almost April. I had the realization yesterday that my birthday is very quickly approaching…which means I’m almost thirty. Damn. Thirty. The BIG 3-0. That’s a lot of candles. Funny, how I never imagined myself at this age. Does anyone?

We spend our whole childhood looking forward to aging. And, surprisingly, the anticipation grows greater as you get older. I couldn’t wait until I turned 13, because I thought that being a teenager was going to be soooo cool (I was wrong). I really couldn’t wait for 16, because the appeal of being able to drive alone was all I could think about at that age; it just felt like independence was at my fingertips (again, I was wrong). 18 was obviously a big deal because I graduated from HS, moved out of my parents’ house, and started college…and because I could finally get into clubs and shake a tailfeather [legally]…and then there was 21. Ah, 21. What a great age. The “coming-of-age” age, in fact. Not a care in the world, but where to grab my next adult beverage.  23-25 seem like distant memories, but I remember that I looked forward to the real independence 25 promised: being able to rent a car on my own, a real career, homeownership; the whole shebang. 26-28 flew by with love and marriage (but no baby carriage just yet), a big move and some life-altering career changes.

…and now I’m here. With 30 almost at my doorstep…and I’m not sure it’s exactly as I pictured. There are changes in myself I’ve started to notice that never envisioned when I was young. I never imagined myself getting to an age where I preferred staying at home on the couch in my pj’s over running wild in the streets and partying from Monday through Monday, or where I pass without puffing first. I never imagined that I would worry over wrinkles, saggy skin, and my bedtime (a girl needs her beauty rest, you know). Furthermore, I definitely never imagined that I would ever get to an age where I would outgrow 4-inch stilettos (kind of) or short shorts (working on it).

The thing is - life is good. I really have no complaints. I’m one of the lucky few who actually really like their job. I have great friends and family (for the most part). I’m happy. I could have never imagined how amazing and loving my husband is, or how exciting it was to buy my first German car (face it; some things just aren’t always better when made in the U.S.A.). I especially couldn’t have imagined the fabulosity I could attain with simple self-confidence. Yes, life is good…and I’m looking forward to what’s to come. 29 has been great, but I think 30 look will look even better on me. I’m not scared of getting older. With age comes different experiences that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

So you know what I say? I say, hurry up, 30! You’re missing all of the [calmer; more sedate, mature, grown and sexy] fun! But please…stay awhile. ‘Cause I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around 40.