asphinctersayswhat?!*

Whew! I can’t tell you what a relief it is to be done with my paper. Well, I call it a paper, but in actuality, it was a midterm exam consisting of a15-page-minimum essay, complete with footnotes and bibliography, worth 40% of our final grade. Talk about pressure! But I muddled through it, relatively unscathed (even though I procrastinated until the night before it was due). In fact, I got my score back yesterday and I made a 100% and got some pretty amazing feedback from my prof (I’m patting myself on the back as I type this)!

<Insert celebratory dance here>

Anyway, while writing the paper, I had a question about the way the professor wanted it formatted, so I posted my question on the message board and patiently awaited a response:

Much to my surprise (or maybe chagrin, or maybe amusement), instead of a quick response from my prof, one of my brilliant peers took it upon herself to grace me with an answer. I just had to share this little gem of geniusness (totally not a word, but apropos, nonetheless):

Wait, what? If you’re anything like me, you probably had to go back and read that at least one more time.

Gee thanks, Kim. I am so glad that you decided to "reply my question as your favor.” Do me another favor; keep YOUR favors to yourself. By the looks of your response, you are just the person who I should be taking writing advice from! Your sentence structure is impeccable and your grammar and spelling are noteworthy. I especially liked the part where you told me to pay attention, because the 2 periods to be continued. Oh, not to mention the extra space you so generously left in between all words followed by any form of punctuation. Right. I hate to break it to you, Kim…but sadly, I am NOT interested in your answer. Frankly, I don’t give a shit what you do with your thesis statement. You are quite possibly the last person who needs to be volunteering answers/advice on the message board. Thanks, anyway.

With that, I leave you the word of the day:

*ə Ÿ sphinc Ÿ ter Ÿsays Ÿ what |  [uh-sfingk-ter-sez-wuht]

-idiom

1. A word used to make someone else look like a prat or sphincter.

Origin:

Most famously used by the legend Mike Myers in the film Wayne's World.