You can thank my good friend Shy (you remember, the one who sends me all the shit I can never wipe from my brain, no matter how many times I deep scrub it with bleach) for this morning's blog. I awoke this morning to an email from her, with nothing but the following link (You should definitely click it; there aren't enough crib notes in the world for what you're about to see...but please be warned...it's a lot. You're probably going to wish you didn't. But it's one of those train wrecks you can't help but to look at. I can't promise that you'll be able to forget it. But you should totally take the risk.):
http://swamplot.com/inside-the-messiest-apartment-in-houston-ever/2008-09-23/
For those of you too scared to access the link, I'll share some of the photo highlights with you. Basically, these are photos taken from a local apartment here in H-Town. The tenant stopped paying her rent and was MIA for over a month. The bookkeeper went in to leave a note and found this:
I'm not sure if you were as disgusted by this dump as I was...but if you weren't, I feel sorry for your mother. You're probably a disgusting slob, too. What's so funny is that this apartment is listed as the "messiest apartment in Houston." Uh. Messy? This isn't messy. This looks like a landfill. I'm not even sure what to think about this. Do you think the person who lived here is actually a hoarder? Like a legit hoarder? If so, they must be some sort of food hoarder. I mean, honestly. How much Whataburger can one person consume in a lifetime? I guess a lot when they mix it up with Domino's and Quiznos and Mickey D's. How much do you think this person weighs? WHAT DID IT SMELL LIKE IN THERE? I seriously gagged at least 3 times when I saw this...and then 2 more times wondering about the smell. I understand some people are terribly OCD and can't get rid of things...but this is just a whole 'nother level. The cigarette butts? This person must have smoked at least 3 packs a day. Consistently. If you actually went to the link, you saw the giant burn mark on the arm of the sofa. Oooo wee! What's up with that? What's up with that? And none of the ciggies seem to be burnt all the way down. It appears as though this woman (and I don't know about you, but I'm picturing someone along the lines of Gilbert Grape's mama who probably doesn't bother to clean inside the folds, much less her own abode) lit one cigarette, smoked it for a bit, put it out on the arm of the sofa, then lit a new cigarette. This is beyond disgusting. I'm sorry, I just had to share. People shouldn't have to deal with seeing things like this alone. I would imagine that's why Shy always sends me the links. She knows my morbid curiosity will not let me ignore the link. I have to see what was so worthy of passing on. Which is why I have some really crazy images burned into my memory FOREVER. So, thanks for that, Shy. And now you readers have me to thank. Good luck bleaching your brains. It doesn't work for me.
On that note - enjoy your Friday! I may be back later with more juicy goodness...but don't get your hopes up. I'm probably going to be celebrating this Great Friday with some spirits (not of the holy nature - I'm saving all that jazz for Easter).
*All photos courtesy of the swamplot link shown above. And what a swamplot this dump was. Blech.
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