So, today’s post is a quick little grammar lesson on common mistakes that make people make that I personally have observed. If you are one of those people that don’t care – more power to you! I’m not judging…but I can’t promise that nobody else will. If you think that you have mastered the commonalities of the English language, perhaps this post isn’t for you. But just like those days in elementary school, please be patient for the students who do need this quick refresher.[1]
Shall we begin? Let’s call this little lesson…
Shall we begin? Let’s call this little lesson…
5 Ways to Avoid Making Silly Mistakes That Might Make You Look Dumber Than You Are
1. To/Two/Too – This one probably seems very basic, but you’d be surprised to know that many people still make this error. This is one example of the English language that I would imagine makes it a very difficult language to learn. These words are called homophones, because they sound alike, but are spelled differently and have different meanings. I would hope that most people at least know enough not to mix “two” up with the other two words ; it’s obviously a numerical value (like how I did that, there?).
A handy way to know which of the other two to use (because they are confused constantly): Sometimes it helps to just eliminate an option. Try to remember that the only meanings of “too” are “also” (I wish you had paid attention in elementary school grammar, too.) and “in excess” (Some people are too ignorant to care if they get it right.). Note the extra O; that will remind you that this word has to do with adding more on to something.
2. Your/You’re – I have to admit; this one gets me. You’d think that since one of the words is obviously a contraction, people wouldn’t easily confuse the two.
Here’s an easy tip: “You’re” is always a contraction of “you are.” Anytime you write “you’re,” if you substitute “you are,” and it sounds stupid…you used the wrong word, stupid! Haha okay, okay…you aren’t stupid; you're confused. You just need to use the word “your,” instead (see how I tied that all together for you?).
If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m really liking these contextual examples. Okay, moving on…
3. Its/It’s – Oh, man. This one is another big pet peeve of mine. See #2. Substitute “it is” or “it has” anytime you want to use “it’s.” If it doesn’t fit, you don’t know how to speak English (and you’re using the wrong word). Okay, calm down. That was a little harsh. I'm sure you speak English very well. I know you want to add that sneaky little apostrophe because you’re speaking in the possessive…but in this case…DON’T. “Its” is a possessive pronoun. Possessive pronouns such as hers, his and ours do not require an apostrophe to indicate possession. It’s really annoying to see people insist on the apostrophe. “Its” indicates possession on its own. Stop it; it looks dumb.
It’s almost recess time – don’t get antsy yet! To mix it up, the last two examples will be common phrases that people use incorrectly.
4. IRregardless – I hate to break it to you, but this is not a real word. Just because you hear people say it – doesn’t make it so. I’m sorry. I know you’ve grown accustomed to using it, but you’re going to have to stop now if you would like to appear intelligent. It’s really not that difficult a concept when you think about it [logically]. “Regardless” means without regard, right? I’m pretty sure you don’t need that bonus prefix at the beginning to say what you mean. Think of it as a double negative (because, for all intents and purposes, it is); you know to avoid those, right? I'll save that for another time. Irregardless” is not a real word, regardless of what you may believe.
And last, but certainly not the least abused – and possibly the one that bugs me the MOST (drum roll, please)…
5. All of the sudden – Okay, wait. What? All of THE sudden? What is THE sudden?[2] Why is it so specific? Is it the only sudden? How did you get all of it? This phrase doesn’t even make any effing sense! It’s an idiom; you can’t just change it to your liking at every whim. If you are one of the offenders in this case, no need to hang your head in shame – you definitely are not the only one. But admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Now you just need to take the appropriate action. Let me break it down for you: “all of a sudden” is an idiom, meant to imply that something happened quickly or suddenly (imagine that). There is no “all of the sudden” because that phrase would imply that there was a sudden…and you would like all of it. For example, let's look at the following sentences - All of a sudden you begin to see the light. All of the sudden you begin to see the light. The first sentence can be interpreted as Suddenly, you begin to see the light. The second sentence can't really be interpreted. Now, see how that all makes sense?
Well, I hope that I didn’t bore anyone too much and that my little helpful hints have you all on your way to success. I can’t guarantee that you will be successful; I can’t speak to your intelligence. However, I can guarantee that the tips that I’ve listed are valid; how you choose to apply them is up to you. My work here is done.
Class dismissed.
[1] For a really great grammar reference, I would suggest checking out Grammar Girl’s blog for quick and dirty tips. She breaks things down and makes them funny and easy to understand. Happy Learning!
[2] Side note: That just reminded me of the chorus from “Bills, Bills, Bills” (the Destiny Child song), when Beyonce sings “Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Can you pay my automo bills?” Wait. Pay my automo bill? WTF is an automo?? I’ve never even heard of an automo; is it foreign? Is it an appliance? A new type of credit card? What else would require a bill?*
*For the record, I know what she was getting at. It just makes me laugh every time.
*For the record, I know what she was getting at. It just makes me laugh every time.
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